Naruto and Enemies
by BadEgg
Summary: Yeah, I know the title sucks. Naruto has a new goal, Hinata admits her feelings for him, Gaara has an addiction. Neji get's engaged and find out Sasuke's most shocking secret. Abandoned.
1. Sasuke's confession!

Summary: Gaara is in a Trix commercial, Sasuke reveals a secret and Naruto finds out his destiny.

Warning: Violence, Randomness and a ticked off panda. Also yaoi- kind of- ! Yay!.

Pairings: NejixSasu HinaxNaru GaaraxOOC- kinda

Disclaimer: Renee and Kurae don't own Naruto, if they did it would be--(shudders)

Kurae: Well this is our first shot at a Narut fanfiction.. So please read and review we need to get better!

Renee: In other words.. REVIEW OR BE DESTROYED! (giggle)

Kurae: Kabuto-kun don't leave me alone with her!

Kabuto: How did I get here ?

Renee: It's a wonder what putting alcohol in your tea can do.

Chapter 1 BEGINS NOW! 

Gaara put on his panda suit, it was time. He exited his dressing room and then walked to the commercial set, his life as a star will begin, after he gets those blasted Trix. It's been a few weeks since he realized he was addicted to them.

Damn those Trix, he loved that cereal. Gaara was starting to sweat.. He was close to losing control, his hand twitched, his breathing became ragged as they neared him with the bowl of the delicious cereal

"Silly panda! Trix are for k -!" The kids couldn't finish their sentence.

"MINE!" Gaara yelled, stabbing one of the kid's with a spoon and punching another. People started to run and scream but Gaara wasn't listening, his teal eyes darted around, he sniffed the air, where were the Trix?

"Lookin' for these?" Gaara's assistant, Goo asked. His yellow eyes gleaming, he held the bowl of Trix in front of him.. He was either very brave or very stupid. Probably stupid.

"You!" Gaara pointed an accusing finger toward Goo.

"Yes, it was me!" Goo said, smirking a little he continued. "Unless you want me to eat your precious Trix you will stay where you are!" Gaara let out a gasp, he couldn't risk the safety of his beloved Trix!

"You brought this on yourself Gaara. You never payed any attention to me, just these damned Trix!" Goo's smirk faded into a sad frown as he continued talking, not noticing the angry panda about to attack him. "We could've had a wonderful life together!" Goo yelled, tears pouring down like rain.

"TRIX!" Gaara roared, attacking Goo and taking the Trix, he scurried off, leaving many people dead, injured and confused.

* * *

Sasuke and Sakura walked along a forgotten path in Konoha. Sakura was a bit cheery, Sasuke had actually asked **her** out! It was like a dream a wonderful, wonderful dream! Even though she planned to beat him down for leaving Konoha five years ago. 

"Sakura.. I have something to tell you." Sasuke said, looking her in the eye for the first time.

"What is it Sasuke-kun?" Sakura asked, ready to hear those dear three words..

"I'm a WOMAN!" Sasuke yelled, embarrassed **she** looked away, waiting for Sakura to get angry.

Sakura didn't yell, she didn't say anything, she fainted. And Ino who was watching from afar fainted at the same time.

"... Hn." Sasuke shook his head and walked away.

* * *

Later that day.. 

Hiashi Hyuuga sat in his plush chair, plotting. The news of the real gender of the young Uchiha heir, er- **heiress**, had spread around quickly thanks to Yamanaka Ino. Maybe he should consider arranging a marriage between Neji and the Uchiha.. Yes that is genius! Hiashi rubbed his hands together and started to laugh maniacally, he will create the most powerful child in Konoha, well Neji and the Uchiha would but still!

"Father?" Hanabi stood in the doorway, a bit afraid for her father's sanity.

"Summon Neji." Hiashi said, suddenly pulling out a bowl of Trix and a spoon. Unknown to him, a panda had caught the scent and was making it's way to the Main House.

Neji came in a bit perplexed, why would his uncle call him in now?

"Neji I think it's time you get married!" Hiashi said, pushing the Trix aside.

".. Um, okay?" Neji said, scratching his head.

"To that Uchiha girl." Hiashi smiled, not noticing the panda who had just taken his Trix.

"Yeeeeeeeesss!" Neji lost control and started to cheer, ignoring the stares of his fellow Hyuugas. Finally, his wish had been granted! He then proceeded to skip out of Hiashi's office. "Hello Hinata-chan!" Neji said, now outside of the Main House. He picked her up and hugged her tightly and then skipped off, singing.

"O-O-O-Onii-san?" Hinata stuttered, she didn't know whether to be happy or afraid. She was on her way towards Naruto's house, she was finally going to tell him how she felt! On the way she passed an angered Hiashi and a happy panda running with a bowl of cereal.. Weird.

* * *

(Fast forward to when Hinata gets there.) 

Hinata stood outside of Naruto's door, she brought her hand up to knock when suddenly Naruto swung it open.

"Hey Hinata!" He said, in his loud manner, he had a grin on his face and something behind his back.

"N-N-Naruto-kun I have something to tell you." Hinata spoke softly, looking into his eyes. She was determined to not wimp out!

"I-I-I, Naruto-kun I love you!" Hinata said, her head bowed she closed her eyes and waited for his reply.

"I love you too! You know what else I love? Pokemon! I'm gonna' be a pokemon master someday! Believe it!" Naruto started to chatter about Pokemon non-stop. Hinata was again happy and a bit scared, again as she followed Naruto in his house, listening to his every word..

Meanwhile at the Uchiha residence..

"What!" Sasuke said, when did she ever agree to this!

"We're getting married!" Neji replied happily, already thinking about the decorations.

Sasuke fainted, this was too much for one girl to take..

* * *

(**End of Chapter 1, please review.. Or be destroyed))**


	2. Mm good!

1

Kurae: And here's the second chapter of Naruto and enemies!

Renee: In this chapter, Kabuto sees Orochimaru do the most disturbing thing known to shinobi! Gaara has a new addiction! And something un-youthful happens to Rock Lee! And Kiba and Akamaru run into their worst enemy.

Kabuto: Why must you involve me?

Kurae: Because I love you!

Renee: And because you're a doctor.

Kabuto: WTF!

Chapter 2 starts NOW!

* * *

Kabuto, done with his paperwork, decided to take a stroll around the house. _I wonder what Shizune is doing._ He thought, turning the corner.

"Oo baby, baby!" Kabuto stopped in his tracks after hearing a familiar voice. He took out his kunai and prepared himself for what he was about to face.

Orochimaru danced as he sang into the microphone. "Oops, you think I'm in love? I'm not that innocent!" The snake Sennin wore a sparkly pink top that showed off his pearl colored stomach and a sparkly, a fuzzy, short skirt that revealed his thighs.

The Sound five, who had been magically summoned from the dead by Kurae, were tied together using anacondas, cheered and whistled. Except for poor Tatsuya, who had fainted in the middle of the song.

"I'll pretend I didn't see that." Kabuto said to himself, eye twitching as Orochimaru started to belly dance while singing 'Hips Don't Lie' with the unfortunate Jiraiya, who had been magically summoned by Renee.

"..." Kabuto's eye twitched and he rushed to the bathroom, maybe he could find a bucket of acid to cleanse himself with later. Curse the karaoke machine Tsunade had bought for Orochimaru on his birthday. Orochimaru had always had the pink outfit though . . .

* * *

Meanwhile, our favorite man-eating panda was stalking our favorite little blossom. And if the blossom or/and panda are your most hated than... Sleep with BOTH eyes open.

Sakura searched for her hairbrush. Where could it be? She always put it back when she was done with her hair. Out of the corner of her eyes she spotted something, sand.

"What the?" She glanced at her window. The Sand Siblings hadn't visited in a while. So how could this be? While investigating she failed to notice the red-haired panda behind her. Before she could even pull out a single kunai, Gaara caught her in a bear hug.

"Gaara-san?" She squeaked, surprised.

"Mine." Gaara murmured, carrying the young cherry blossom out of her own house and to his home in Sunagakure, which was full of Trix.

* * *

Rock Lee, the beautiful green beast of Konoha, was fighting a random shinobi. Before he could even lay one punch on his youthful target, he was assaulted with a strange ninjutsu known as Senior No Footku! (( Don't ask.))

"What is this!" Lee said, trying to stand up only to find himself trembling. "What has happened!" Lee asked himself, staring at his withered hands. "This is most definitely not youthful!" Lee exclaimed, anime tears forming.

That's when he caught his own reflection in the lake. He was.. He was.. OLD!

"NOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Lee screamed, and then he started to cough and wheeze like a 80 year old man. Poor 'youthful' Lee.

* * *

Kiba was on a mission in the Mist Country. "I can't believe Tsunade-sama sent me all the way here for some sake!" Kiba growled, kicking an innocent pebble. Akamaru barked in agreement, the dog had gotten.. Big over the years although Kiba didn't seem to notice at all.

"A dog!" A masked shinobi yelled, dramatically pointing to the two. Kiba pulled out his kunai and Akamaru growled.

"Do you think you can defeat me, puppy? The shinobi laughed and Kiba found himself surrounded by cats.

"No! My only weakness!" Kiba started to sneeze uncontrollably, unable to throw the kunai at the charging shinobi. Akamaru was facing a giant cat known as Fluffy-Kins. The shinobi took of her mask and tackled the Inuzuka. Kiba groaned, damn kitty-kat fangirls.

* * *

Kurae:Review please! 


	3. PostHalloween

Renee: In honor of Halloween, this chapter will be . . . A Special Naruto Post Halloween special!

Kurae: In this chapter the shinobi of Konoha decides to. Well you'll find out later.

Disclaimer 

Neji: Kurae and Renee own this story and this only. They own nothing else. Because they're broke, very broke.

Kurae: You're not helping.

Neji: So what?

* * *

**Chapter Three**

It was Autumn in Konoha and the smell of ramen and kabocha cookies filled the air. A certain group of shinobi was having a Halloween party as the young Academy students ate large amounts of sugary treats and orange ramen.

A reluctant Sasuke was there, finally dressed like what she was, a kunoichi. Only, she was a kunoichi from The States, the famous Britney Spears. (We can't help it. She amuses us.) It was a last minute costume and she had only gotten it thanks to Kabuto- who couldn't stand to see his master in that outfit any longer.- Neji was there too, he was forced into a Lee costume by Sasuke herself. Vengeance was sweet. Lee, in turn, dressed as Neji and Gai dressed liked Kakashi for reasons unknown to all except himself and Lee. Her former teammates' costumes were more or less amusing.

Naruto was a cup of instant ramen and he was trying to eat his own noodle legs.. , Sakura was a cute and cuddly neko, trying to stop him and Kakashi was a book reading himself.

"Naruto! It's plastic!" Sakura yelled at him and then glared at Kakashi, "Have some shame!" Poor Sakura, she has to deal with them on a daily basis.

. . _Weirdo._ Sasuke thought, looking at everyone else's costumes. Ino was a brightly colored butterfly accompanied by a Spiderman- who was actually Shino. Shikamaru was a sloth, and Chouji was a bag of chips. _All that and a bag of chips._ Sasuke thought, giggling a little. Kiba was Akamaru and Akamaru was Kiba, they probably used that jutsu again . . . Hinata was a pretty geisha and somehow it suited her. Ten Ten was a samurai, katana and all. Even the Sand Siblings were there, Gaara was a panda eating Trix . . . Kankuro was Bat Man and Temari was the queen. _Thanks goodness these are only costumes._ Sasuke thought to herself, sipping some of the tomato juice she had brought with her.

Kankuro saw a flash of light in the sky. "The Bat Signal! Batman away!" Kankuro yelled, flying off.

"Wrong super power idiot!" Temari remarked, rolling her eyes. Seriously, it was enough handling KazeKage Gaara and his Trix Addiction. But a flying Kankuro? She didn't even get payed for this!

Kabuto was a lawyer and Orochimaru was Shakira. Sasuke didn't know why they were there in the first place but the other Sannin was there too. Tsunade was angered because she and Orochimaru had chosen the same costume and Jiraiya was his usual perverted self, drooling over the two.

"You could sue him." Kabuto offered, giving Tsunade his card: **Kabuto Yakushi, ace attorney at law.** Orochimaru looked at him, shocked.

"How could you?" He said, sniffling.

"I am a lawyer." Kabuto replied, giving Orochimaru his card. Tsunade immediately hired him.

"Jiraiya, I'm charging you with being a ultra mega pervert!" Tsunade said, punching Jiraiya and watching him sail off into the sunset Lee had just painted. _I'm surrounded by weirdos._ Sasuke thought turning to face Neji.

"I want to leave." She said, grabbing his arm and starting to go toward the sliding doors. Neji laughed a bit and pulled Sasuke back.

"Let's stay for a while." Neji said, having loosened up since Naruto defeated him. Standing up on her tip toes, Sasuke whispered into Neji's ear.

"Please?" She asked. Her lips so close to his ear . . . So close! Neji blushed and nodded quickly heading to the door with his fiancee. Uchiha Sasuke always got her way.

And she would find a way to get out of this marriage and marry her one and true love, Naruto Uzumaki.

Kurae: Yup, this is the best we could do right now!

Renee: Writers' block is a terrible thing.

Kankuro: Review or I'll go batman on you!


End file.
